So I was minding my own business...

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Two Years

Two years.
Two years ago, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative again.
Two years ago, I felt broken. Broken all over again.
Two years ago, I started to move on again.
Two years ago, I started healing again.
The past two years have been good, I’m happy. Grief comes, grief goes. Grief will come again and I’ll be here to let it in, serve it tea and sit with it.

This week I went to this art exhibit called The Fragile Sense of Hope, the title alone gave me many feelings. I have this love/hate relationship with hope, but I no longer hope for a surprise pregnancy. I hope to be inspired, to be grateful, to be empathetic, to have no regrets, I hope to always wake up next to D. But I hope that next time grief comes by, it doesn’t linger for too long. I hope…
I stumbled into this piece by Sanja Iveković; I feel I was lucky this art piece was only part of the exhibition’s book and not hang in the gallery. I don’t know if I could have kept the tears from coming. Maybe this is my hope, I hope that one day the ache is gone.

Roger Ebert once wrote, "You’re stronger at the broken places," they say. I’ve been there, and you’re not. I wholeheartedly agree.

Filed under deivf Infertility moving on childfree childless grief ivf not all infertility journeys are seen equal

2 notes &

alfa-limalimon said: narwhal horns! amazing!
The narwhal horn used to be presented as an unicorn horn.
They also have one of those fish body with a shrunken head that was used as “proof” that mermaids exist.

Filed under alfa-limalimon

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me Collectors Room

This past Sunday, I finally went into the Wunderkammer Olbricht, which is part of the me Collectors Room.
The Wunderkammer Olbricht is a curiosities collection. Back in the day, if you were rich, you were able to buy and collect all sorts of stuff and display them in your huge home/castle.
This place has shrunken heads, narwhal’s horn, birds, lots of shells/eggs, ivory sculptures used by doctors among a bunch of other fascinating stuff.
It was really amazing and I want to go back already.
There is this giraffe bust and sits around their cafe. It is amazing.
The rumor is that no one will talk about where it came from. I mean, the collection expands two to five centuries, so there are ton of stuff that it’s illegal now, for a good reason.
But any research to trace this particular piece will be useless because the me Collectors Room will not answer any questions.
Anyway, I love coming into their cafe and have a little coffee or a snack and just stare at it. It’s really beautiful.
me Berlin website

Filed under berlin me collectors room wunderkammer olbricht No renothings awkward since forever

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Karen O was amazing! She has such a great stage presence. At one point, she called out to Peaches, yes that Peaches!, to joined her on stage. 
So happy I got to see this show.

Karen O was amazing! She has such a great stage presence. At one point, she called out to Peaches, yes that Peaches!, to joined her on stage.
So happy I got to see this show.

Filed under Karen O Berlin

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City of Strangers by Jim Avignon

Filed under berlin jim avignon